Ghost of Christmas Future
Baby Girl,
My yoke is easy and My burden is light. You felt that yesterday, didn’t you? I sent you into a situation that most people wouldn’t know how to handle because they haven’t walked so closely with people in seasons of suffering before - but you have.
You say all the time that ultimately, I work things out for your good and My glory. This was a good example. When you were called and asked if you would clean for this couple, you sensed in your spirit it was Me calling you and you willingly said yes.
My timing, although you were unaware of it until now, was perfect. Bonnie has been battling this cancer for a couple years now. You’ve known about her for months and never once did you consider meeting her or talking to her. She was just a name; a friend of a friend you’ve prayed for. As you prayed for her, I was preparing your heart for this encounter.
Do you remember putting your laptop in your backpack before leaving for work?
Those tears. You don’t remember putting it in there, do you? When had you last used it and where did you leave it?
When your conversation with Bonnie turned toward the book I had you start writing in 2020, you told her you were bummed your laptop was at home because you wanted to interview her for it. You considered just turning on the voice recorder on your phone and transcribing it later but you knew you couldn’t confirm that you got the heart of what she was saying right if you weren’t writing it and reading it back. Making sure you got it right was an important part of the interview process.
If you were so certain it was on your office desk, what made you think to get up and check your backpack? Let Me rephrase that: WHO do you think made you think to get up and check your backpack?
I knew that within an hour of you leaving that house, Hospice would be coming for a difficult conversation they were not prepared to have. Your mind is racing. Do you not think I am able to arrange for your laptop to be in your backpack when I need it to be there? Go ahead. Pause and think. When did you put that laptop in there?
You didn’t take the time to consider that yesterday. You were just glad to find it there. Little One, when you’re following Me, remember that I’m always a couple steps ahead of you. All those years when you were racing ahead of Me, I was so busy running to catch up, I didn’t have the opportunity to go before you and prepare the way.
So many times in your conversation with Bonnie and Joe, you thought, That was definitely not my idea. You were right. Do you remember starting the car in the morning and saying, “Holy Spirit, use me today. Speak words of comfort through me today.”
It’s a good thing your husband isn’t a light sleeper. Our little conversations often lead to tears and you blowing that cute little nose of yours! And there’s that smile. Let’s lighten up that heavy heart of yours. I like the picture you drew for Bonnie. Frame it and take it to her in the morning. You’ll have the opportunity to finish your conversation with her.
Let Me ask you this: you are aware that there were some profound moments of truth in your conversation - can you tell Me what stuck out to you?
“Bonnie, you feel bad that so many people are doing things for you, reaching out and encouraging you, because you believe you have nothing to offer in exchange. When people are giving to you, you are simply experiencing the tangible hands and feet of Jesus in your life. Thank God that you can witness the tangible hands, feet, and heart of Jesus at work in the world in such a profound and personal way.”
“You feel bad for Joe; that so much of his life is spent running around doing all of the things necessary to get you through your days. This is an awkward question for me to ask in front of Joe… but do you believe that he, in any way, resents all of the sacrifices he is making?”
Do you remember what she said?
She said, “No. Everything he does for me is straight from his heart and he does it all with such LOVE.”
What did you tell her?
“If that’s true, if Joe is doing everything he is doing for you willingly and out of such great LOVE for you, can you see that feeling bad about it is wrong thinking? Bonnie, you have two voices always vying for your attention. You have been given free will, which means that the enemy can only make suggestions. He can’t make you think or do anything. Because of your free will, God can only make suggestions. He can’t make you think or do anything either.
If the truth is that Joe LOVES you and that everything he is doing for you is from that LOVE - the LOVE of Christ in his heart for you - who do you think wants you to feel bad about opening your hands and receiving that LOVE with gratitude and joy?
Yes, the enemy.
You said at the beginning of our time together that you are a baby Christian and you expressed concerns that you are not being a good Christian in this season. What do you think Jesus wants from you? What would make you a ‘good Christian’ in this season?
Bonnie, Jesus is pouring out His LOVE on you through the hands, feet, phone calls, and even texts of His people, and the only thing He wants from you is to learn how to open your hands to receive it.”
I’m impressed. I didn’t even have to get to the part of this conversation where I told you that everything you said to her was in essence you relaying what I’ve been trying to tell you for years.
Baby, you were so incredibly sad when you saw how difficult it was for Bonnie to even know that you would be coming to clean her house because “that’s what she should be doing.” She was concerned that it would be awkward just “sitting there in the recliner with her feet up doing nothing while you ran around and did what was her job.”
She is within days of meeting Me, in pain so severe, she willingly chose tonight to spend her final days at Hospice to relieve her pain; and yet, she was still hanging onto the stubborn belief that she should be the one cleaning her house.
What was the saddest thing she said to you?
When her phone dinged several times, she looked at it and told me wonderful people from church have been texting her daily with encouragements and she wished they would stop. When I pressed her for why, she started crying and said, “Everyone is being so kind and loving to me. It’s all too much. I just wish they would stop.” I asked her why and, in tears, she said, “Because I have nothing left to give any of them.”
Baby, Bonnie is exactly 30 years down the self-reliant path you have been on up until now. Consider your visit with her like the “ghost of Christmas future” in It’s a Wonderful Life. Take this conversation you had with her and allow it to permeate every cell of your DNA and do not walk away from this moment unchanged.
Back to bed, Little One. Your assignment with Bonnie and Joe is not over.
LOVE,
Daddy
Matthew 25:37-40
