My Heart for You
Baby Girl,
Why are you wishing away the journey toward sanctification? You’re not calling it that, but that’s what it is.
Sanctification = the action or process of being freed from sin or purified
There’s not a magical destination called “sanctification.” Well, let Me correct that: there’s not a destination called “sanctification” that you will arrive at in that natural body of yours. Sanctification was, is, and always will be a work in progress and we’re both participants in that work. You told your friend you are looking forward to living in spiritual maturity that doesn’t require as many amends. Do you not understand that making amends is a sign of spiritual maturity?
You are more quickly recognizing the ways you have offended people than you ever did before because you are open to the feedback of others, have put down your defenses, and openly invite Holy Spirit to bring to light what you are unaware of. When Holy Spirit brings a person to mind, even if you are unaware of what you may have done or said, you are with great intention having humbling conversations to clear the air. This is spiritual maturity.
This feels much different than what you used to do. You used to anxiously and codependently lunge at people, begging them to tell you they aren’t upset with you to ease your fragile self-image. You wanted their forgiveness for the self-centered relief of your ego, not from a contrite heart for where you missed the mark in relationship with them.
Contrite = feeling of expressing remorse or penitence; affected by guilt
Penitence = the action of feeling or showing sorrow and regret for having done wrong; repentance
Repentance = The action of repenting (feeling or expressing sincere regret or remorse about one’s wrongdoing or sin); sincere regret or remorse
You’re not opening repentant conversations anymore with, “Are you mad at me?” because you’re aware that’s not a fair question to ask. People are not good with confronting the truth of how you’ve hurt them and it’s not their job to initiate that uncomfortable conversation when you are aware of your offense.
You may not be aware of how deeply that offense has affected them, but you know what you did or said that was out of line. You are courageously owning that and seeking to make it right. You are no longer just asking them to sign off on it so you can stop feeling bad about it - that’s spiritual maturity.
I want you to change your perspective on missing the mark with people you are ministering to. You still have shame attached to every error you become aware of. You give yourself very little grace in your humanity, and you give yourself very little credit for your honorable attempts to live at peace with all men as far as it depends on you.
You and I have a difference of opinion about you and, when we have a difference of opinion, one of us needs to change our mind. Who do you think needs to change their mind when we disagree?
Take a few minutes and seek My Heart in the Word on this subject. Tell Me, in My own words, how I see you. You’re giving Me that facetious face again. Remember what that word means?
Facetious = treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor; flippant
Flippant = lacking proper respect or seriousness
Tears. So now you understand I’m not being flippant about this. This is serious. How you speak to yourself about yourself is a significant indicator of your heart. You still carry disdain in your heart toward yourself.
Disdain = a feeling of contempt for someone or something regarded as unworthy or inferior; scorn
Contempt = the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving
Scorn = the feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable; contempt
Despicable = deserving hatred and contempt
Why did the word despicable just hit such a raw nerve in you? Why are you agreeing with these words when you make mistakes? Is there a word here you feel strongly enough to argue with Me that you don’t apply to yourself when you discover you have hurt or offended someone, even unintentionally, in word or action?
You do not yet understand My heart for you. If you did, even the idea of applying these words to yourself would cause GREAT offense in your soul. You would RAIL up against these words with every bit of righteous anger you’re capable of if you understood My heart for you.
Rail (at or against) = to criticize or scold severely or angrily especially for personal failings
Righteous anger = anger that is primarily motivated by a perception of injustice or other profound moral lapse
Baby, you just don’t understand. I NEED you to understand. You NEED to understand.
Understand = perceive the intended meaning of (words or a speaker), interpret or view (something) in a particular way
You understand what the world says. The world LIES. Don’t believe what the world says. UNDERSTAND what I say.
Listen to what I say. Listen. Listen. Listen. Over and over and over until you UNDERSTAND.
Listen. I. LOVE. You.
You spent your morning pouring out your heart to Me about a SYMPTOM of not understanding My heart for you. Every thought you have about money is wrong other than the fact that when you die, it’s just a useless piece of paper. I will answer your questions, but My answers will be a resounding gong, a meaningless noise in the atmosphere if you don’t understand My heart for you.
I’m not mad. I’m not frustrated. I’m sad. I’ve got the most precious little girl in the world sitting with Me in tears, and I feel like every effort I make to help you understand how I feel about you is met with a defensive, “Yeah, but…”
If you “yeah, but…” everything you ever do with a pure heart that isn’t done perfectly and accepted by everyone as such, you will “yeah, but…” everything I ask you to do.
You. Are. Human. Accept your humanity and EVERYTHING that being human entails.
As a human, you will need to evaluate your motives and you will often find that your motives are not 100% pure. Repent and move forward in righteousness. Remember Paul said your righteousness is not from the law but through faith in Christ.
As a human interacting with humans, you WILL be misunderstood, and people WILL become offended by you despite your best intentions. Trust Me to work those things out in and through you.
As a human, you WILL put your foot in your mouth, overstep the often unwritten boundaries of others, and will need to ask forgiveness. Ask forgiveness and move forward in righteousness. You stepping back into your righteousness is not dependent on their stated forgiveness of you. Your only responsibility is a sincere amend to your mistake.
You need a break. Go lie down. Finish crying. Pray in the spirit and listen. If you try to open the Word to hear My heart for you right now, it will be a meaningless mental exercise. For now, be still.
LOVE,
Daddy
Romans 3:21-22
