Hug & Sing
Last night here in the intensive care unit, my kids and a couple good friends of mine came to visit my husband after his heart surgery.
While we were in the lobby, my friends were talking to the kids and I noticed a distressed looking woman sitting in the waiting room behind them. I quietly stepped behind my friends and family and sat down with the woman.
I asked, “Is everything ok?” She told me her dad, now in his 80s, had heart surgery that didn’t go well. They tried to give him a stent and I believe he’s now bleeding internally and it sounded like it is just a matter of time until he meets Jesus face to face.
I prayed with her, then I asked if her dad knew the LORD. He does.
I asked if she knew the LORD. She does.
She said her mom who died 13 years ago loved the LORD too.
I told her about a dream I had recently. I had fallen asleep while talking to the LORD about people I love who have serious medical concerns and the inevitability of death for all of us, eventually, and then I had a dream.
My Dream
In the dream, I saw myself walking on a road. At a certain point I came to a fork in the road and I had to choose. I could turn left, go straight or turn right. I confidently chose to turn left.
The road to the left was a joyful one. Everyone around me had big problems, but they seemed relatively unconcerned. Everyone was laughing and talking and enjoying each other's company. I suddenly became aware that I was to speak at each of their funerals. The first thing that came to mind with each of them was the biggest struggle in their lives: their physical ailments, family problems, financial problems, and mental/emotional issues.
The LORD told me not to focus on those struggles. He redirected my focus to their faith. Everyone on the road with me loves Jesus.
We were all aware that the road would end for each of us at some point. When the road ended for someone, we would hug them and say "See you later," and then we had to keep walking. You can't stop. You must keep walking.
Suddenly I was pulled away from the road, as if floating above it and I looked down at myself and everyone else on the road. People who had already gone to heaven were on the road with me. I was aware of them even though I could not physically see them. My friend Colleen who died in 2022 was on the road with me.
The LORD let me know that we are ALREADY living in eternity. The road doesn't end... only the "physical road" comes to an end. So just because we can no longer physically see those who have died in Christ, they are still living in eternity with us....even here....even now.
So what about the other roads?
Those who went straight paused at the intersection looking to the left, to the right and back. Unable to make a decision but needing to keep moving, they continued walking straight. They kept looking back, unsure of their decision, but like everyone, they must keep moving.
Those who turned to the right did so very intentionally. They were angry, sad, resentful... in general, negative souls. There were many people on that road, but no one was laughing or talking and everyone on that road was alone and lonely.
The LORD let me know that everyone still on the road, even those on the road to the left, had freewill and the opportunity to turn around and choose another road.
I told the woman that at some point, her dad would take his last breath and his road would end. She would then need to give him a big hug, tell him "See you later," and then she would need to keep walking.
We talked about Isaiah 53:4 "Surely He has borne our griefs. And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted."
I said, "If Jesus already carried our griefs and sorrows, that means we don't need to carry them. When your dad goes home, you will have tears and you will miss him, but you don't have to grieve as those who have no hope."
20-Second Hug
I then taught this woman about the magic of a 20-second hug and perhaps you will benefit from it as well. There is a right way to give a 20 second hug and when you do, there are big health benefits!
I can't really explain the science so the way I picture it is there is a trap door in your brain holding a bunch of feel-good hormones that releases at the end of a 20-second hug. I found this information by Googling it.
In a 20-second hug:
- Serotonin: a feel-good neurotransmitter is released
- Dopamine: a feel-good neurotransmitter that helps improve focus is released
- Oxytocin: often called the cuddle or love hormone that also reduces pain, promotes trust, bonding and emotional comfort is released
- Cortisol is reduced, helping ease physical tension and lowering overall stress for up to 24 hours.
- Blood pressure is reduced as your nervous system resets. Prolonged touch activates pressure receptors in the skin that signal the vagus nerve, which helps slow your heart rate and lower blood pressure.
After our hug I asked if I could go into her dad's room to pray with her and him. Her sister was in there so I shared the same message with her sister and her dad and gave her sister a 20-second hug.
As soon as I got back to my room the LORD sent me back to talk to them about the fruit of the Spirit. When we are made new in Christ, we become a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come. The fruit of that new character, the fruit of the Spirit, is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
So even in this very moment, with their dad's situation so uncertain, the proper response is still peace. Even in this very moment, with their dad's situation so uncertain, the proper response is still joy. The proper response is still peace and joy not because the circumstances are peace-filled or joy-filled but because that is who we are.
We prayed and during our prayer, this song came to my heart.
I sang the first verse and then invited them to join me.
A song to meditate on
It's fun to make up new lines and it's so simple to sing!
God is so good,
God is so good,
God is so good,
He's so good to me.
He answers prayers,
He answers prayers,
He answers prayers,
He's so good to me.
He loves me so.....
He healeth me....
He comforts me.....
He counsels me....
He restores me...
He forgives me....
He teaches me....
He corrects me...
You can sing whatever comes to mind. This is a song that plays on a loop in my mind ALL the time!
So when you face difficult days, my best advice is to give 20-second hugs and sing songs that remind you of who God is.
Praise the LORD!