You’re a Lamp, Not a Flashlight
These are some of the most FREEING words God has EVER said to me. They were spoken in a moment of gentle correction and redirection. There was something I wanted spiritually for someone else more than they wanted it. We can’t successfully “want” something for someone else more than they “want” it for themselves. When you grasp this concept, you become more influential than ever because you stop TRYING to influence others.
Many of the concepts God talks to me about can be linked to terms that are used in recovery or psychology, but HIS take on them RARELY follows social norms in our self-serving, self-protective “cancel culture” that seeks to protect our “rights” and our “peace” at all cost.
When you’re a lamp who thinks they are a flashlight, psychology would likely tell you that you struggle with a concept called “Co-dependency.” Realizing that you are a lamp and planting yourself on the desk plugged into the Source is not unkind or self-serving, it is actually one of the kindest, most generous things you can do.
I unknowingly spent the first 39 years of my Christian life as a lamp who was trying to be a flashlight. There was an abrupt end to that pattern when God did for me what I was COMPLETELY incapable of doing on my own….when He healed me of mental illness, specifically bipolar depression on August 22, 2023.
I met SEVERAL lamps on my journey to that moment. If those lamps were to read this blog, they know EXACTLY who they are. I BEGGED each of those lamps to come with me and help me along the way, but there they sat, plugged into the Source, available if I came to them, but unwilling to come with me.
PRAISE GOD FOR THE LAMPS IN MY LIFE!!
As a Christian, you ARE the light of the world.
“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16
Notice the lamp is on a lampstand and it gives light to all “WHO ARE IN THE HOUSE.”
To enjoy the light that comes from the lamp, you have to go to the room where the lamp is. When you find a lamp you like, you can’t take the lamp with you. If you did, you’d have to unplug it and it would no longer be of use to you. It was plugged in where it belongs.
This does NOT mean that you stay home and don’t interact with other people. Not at all.
LIVE YOUR LIFE WHERE GOD SENDS YOU. When you wake up in the morning, you are to be a light to the people who live in your home. You shine the divine LOVE of Jesus in your home so that as you move from room to room in your house, whoever engages with you at home experiences the LOVE of Jesus.
Exercise the fruit of the Spirit in your home.
Choose love, even when others are being “unlovable.” A two-year old in a candy aisle, an 11-year-old who is told they can’t play until they finish their homework, a 15-year-old who can’t go out with their friends or a husband who is “hangry” might behave in quite unlovable ways. Through the power of the Holy Spirit in you, you are FULLY capable of responding to their unlovable ways with love.
As you study Scripture and learn what generosity and love look like practically, you can put it into practice at home first. It’s easy to love people when they are being “lovable.” Home often gives us many opportunities to love those who are not being “lovable” which is a good training ground for going out into the world.
If you’re looking for a good picture of what true LOVE looks like, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It is a great place to start.
Choose joy, even when others are grumpy. It doesn’t mean you rub their grumpiness in their faces and tell them to cheer up. It means that when those around you are being grumpy, you can choose to keep your joy.
Choose peace, even when others in your home are feeling fearful about something. Again, you don’t rub your peace in their face and tell them they’re doing it wrong. You quietly remain unaffected by fear that you refuse to entertain. Lamps are not loud. You don’t know a lamp is on because it makes noise, you know it’s on because you can see the light.
Choose patience, even when others are behaving impatiently. If your husband can’t find his keys, don’t get in a tizzy with him, quietly set about helping him find his keys and don’t become impatient with his impatience. When someone is feeling road rage getting cut off, you don’t have to engage in conversation about how rude that driver was. You can quietly let them get their frustration out and let the moment of frustration pass before introducing a different subject.
Family is often the BEST gym to workout our salvation in,
and you don’t even have to pay for a membership!
Choose kindness, even when others are being unkind. This doesn’t mean you must be present and subject yourself to their unkindness. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is quietly remove yourself from the situation when someone is being unkind. You don’t have to react. If it’s a pattern, you can choose ahead of time how you will respond to unkindness, be clear with your expectations, and follow through without a word.
Set boundaries when there is complete peace and no tension. “Hey kids, sometimes you can be very disrespectful when you ask for something. The next time that happens, I want you to know how I plan to handle it so no one is surprised. When you are disrespectful in your approach, the answer will be and will remain no. Don’t bother asking again. We will change the subject and move on.”
The key to boundaries is to set them BEFORE they are needed and honor them
without emotions.
Choose goodness. Goodness in the biblical sense is more than just being nice. Goodness is moral and spiritual excellence in action. It is an uprightness of heart that overflows into generous, practical acts of love and kindness toward others, driven by the Holy Spirit rather than human effort.
Choose gentleness. Proverbs 15:1 says that a gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. How many times do you correct your spouse or children with a quick, harsh word or a sarcastic remark? The word sarcasm is linked to the definition “to tear flesh.” Sarcasm is not fitting of ANYONE who calls themself a Christian (Christ-follower).
Choose faithfulness. In the Bible, faithfulness means unwavering reliability, steadfast loyalty, and keeping promises. This one can be challenging, especially when your home is marked by unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness doesn’t just mean being unfaithful sexually in marriage. Did you know that when you make a promise and fail to keep it, you are being unfaithful?
Be SLOW to make promises and be VERY intentional about following through
on your promises!
As a parent, even when you promise there will be consequences, failing to follow through on those consequences is an act of unfaithfulness. Your children quickly discover that you don’t necessarily mean what you say and they become disrespectful and disobedient. When children or even your spouse knows you only say what you mean and you mean what you say, you earn their respect.
Choose self-control. Self-control is EASILY, hands-down the HARDEST fruit to consistently display with human effort and is necessary to effectively walk in the other eight traits. I spent 39 years saying “I have NO self-control!” mostly in regards to my addictive relationship with food.
Turns out, not only do I HAVE self-control….in Christ, that’s who I am….and that’s who YOU are too!
Hopefully this gives you a place to start on understanding what it looks like to be a lamp.
Once you understand what it looks like to be a lamp, to shine light, at home….you put on your shoes and head out to your car….you’re now a lamp in your car.
You get to work…you’re a lamp at work.
You go to the gym after work…you’re now a lamp at the gym.
You stop by the grocery store on your way home from the gym…
You got it! You’re a lamp at the grocery store.
So if I say you’re a lamp EVERYWHERE you go…
What do I mean when I say you’re not a flashlight?
Good question. I’m glad you asked!
Everywhere you go, you shine. Your life looks different than the rest of the world because, honestly, look around you! Do you know very many people who are consistently loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, gentle, faithful, good and self-controlled? I don’t.
When you walk in the fruit of the Spirit…you NATURALLY shine!
When you shine, people walking in the dark are either repelled by your light
or they’re drawn to it.
When you NATURALLY shine, your heart becomes burdened for those who are walking in darkness. There is a natural tendency for Christian’s to want to actively pursue people who are ACTIVELY choosing to walk away from the light.
Let them.
I just offended all the lamps who are unintentionally
trying to be a flashlight.
Come back. It’s ok. Letting people who are ACTIVELY choosing to walk away from the light is probably THE MOST effective way to witness to a non-believer that you can do. People who ACTIVELY CHOOSE to walk away from the light now KNOW where they can find it WHEN THEY ARE READY.
The LORD said to me, “10,000 words that are TRUE but NOT ANOINTED can keep a life from changing, but ONE ANOINTED WORD can change a life forever.”
Be a light. Shine everywhere you go, but don’t chase people down with the light.
What about those HUNGRY disciples who want what you have and are ACTIVELY pursuing YOU for light?
Shouldn’t you go back into their lives with them to help them see how to do it? NOPE. That’s where the world would say you’re “co-dependent.”
Jesus FIRST called HIMSELF the light of the world…
"Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness,
but have the light of life.” John 8:12
Jesus didn’t chase His disciples down and say, “Let Me come home with you and help you straighten your lives out.” He said, “I know the will of the Father. I’m headed that way. Wanna go with Me?” If we want to be imitators of Christ, we will do the same.
What does that look like practically?
Let me tell you about the lamp I’m closest to in my life.
January of 2023, she was a new friend. The very first time I ever had a real conversation with her, she told me that I didn’t have to live with mental illness, bipolar and unchecked ADHD. She said I had “come into agreement with mental illness” and that I could “CHOOSE to come into agreement with Jesus for my healing.” She also told me, essentially, that I didn’t have an intimate relationship with God, but that I had a form of religion even though I had been a Christian for 39 years!
I was offended. I didn’t talk to her for six months. I wasn’t mad. Honestly, I didn’t think about her at all really during those six months. I spent two months depressed, three months manic and I was back in depression, being offered a new “anti-psychotic” medicine when I finally reached out to her again.
Was she offended I hadn’t talked to her in six months? No.
Was she bothered by the fact that she had “wasted” three-hours of her life listening to me and speaking the truth and I had essentially IGNORED everything she said to me? No.
Did she let me know how RUDE it was of me to contact her out of the blue after pretending she didn’t exist for six months? No.
Did she attempt to contact ME during those six months? No.
When I reached out and asked her if she would meet with me again, she immediately agreed to meet me for lunch later that week. At lunch, she held true to her word. She listened a lot, spoke a little and essentially left me with the same two concepts:
I had come into agreement with mental illness and could choose to come into agreement with Jesus for my healing.
I had it in my head and when I got it in my spirit, everything would change.
We left lunch on good terms, but I didn’t feel compelled to reach out to her and she didn’t pursue me.
The following month, I was so low that I told my psychiatrist and counselor that I wasn’t suicidal but I really hoped God wouldn’t leave me here very long. Life was exhausting. If I was good, was I too good? And if I wasn’t good, when would I feel better? I didn’t want to live like that anymore.
My psychiatrist offered me an “emergency pill.” If I was ever so high I couldn’t sleep or so low I didn’t want to be here anymore, I could take this pill, it would knock me out and when I woke up the following morning I would be in a better place.
How could I be a Christian, SAY I trusted Jesus AND need an emergency pill?
I KNEW something this lamp in my life was telling me was true, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. I reached out again in desperation. For the third time, she told me the same thing, holding fast to her conviction despite my complete INABILITY to grasp what she was saying.
She didn’t soft pedal or change her story because of how harshly I questioned what she told me and once again…she didn’t chase me down with more “proof” that it was true. She answered my questions and went home unbothered by my lack of understanding. She knew what I now know….you can speak truth, but you can’t FORCE anyone to believe or even understand it. THAT is how a lamp lives!
The DAY it clicked in my soul and I grabbed hold of the truth my spirit already knew and I came into agreement with Jesus for my healing, she was the FIRST PERSON I wanted to tell and I ENTHUSIASTICALLY asked, “WILL YOU PLEASE DISCIPLE ME?!” Her answer was an enthusiastic, “Praise God! YES!”
That was just the BEGINNING of understanding what it meant to be discipled by a lamp!
MONTHS into discipleship I commented on how she told me VERY little about her personal life and almost NOTHING about her personal thoughts and feelings. She said, “If I let my soul get wrapped up in this assignment, we would not be in a good place.” There is SO MUCH wisdom in those words!
She relied on the Holy Spirit to lead EVERY SINGLE interaction she had with me. As I learned and grew in faith, she answered LESS and LESS of my questions directly. She would simply ask me if I had asked the LORD about that? Eventually, she stopped even saying that. Her silence began to remind me to take it to the LORD.
Her silence was initially VERY uncomfortable and my SOUL wrestled with what it meant. Had I annoyed her? Had I asked too many questions? Had I said something offensive? I had to overcome MANY thoughts and MANY feelings to continue submitting myself to discipleship.
I had to learn to understand that she was doing EXACTLY what she was supposed to do…live HER life….not mine.
I praise God for her faithfulness to her OWN life and her OWN walk with the LORD!
I praise God for her stubborn refusal to step into MY WORLD in the ways I was unintentionally asking her to.
Discipleship isn’t synonymous with friendship.
One lamp I pursued once said, “I can be your mentor or I can be your friend, but I can’t be both.” I said I wanted her to be my mentor and continued behaving in ways I hoped would make her my friend too. She was wise enough to create and maintain distance from my soulish bids for connection.
Maybe some blog posts wrap up with a neat and tidy bow…for this one I feel compelled to just say, “That’s all I feel led to say.” I LOVE you enough to stop talking now. LOL!
Oh yeah….P.S. If you didn’t put two and two together….the flashlight is God.
When someone actively chooses to walk away from your light….trust that God’s got them.
When someone actively pursues YOU for the light, speak what God would have you to speak, then trust that God’s got them.
OK. That’s it.