Overcommitted
- 2:10 ALARM: HIT SNOOZE ON WATCH AND CLOSED EYES -
Baby Girl,
Yes, Sir.
Go to the bathroom and brush your teeth.
- 3 MINUTES LATER: TURNED ON OFFICE LIGHT, STARTED PUTTING THINGS AWAY -
No overhead light. Turn on your lamp.
- TAKING THINGS OFF THE CHAIR -
Light your candle and turn on instrumental music. Leave the room as it is. Sit.
Why is your office a mess?
I was up until almost 9:30 PM cleaning the house and texting my ministry partner about how I was feeling. She said, "Don't skip your appointment with the LORD tonight." I realized what time it was and knew if I didn't get to bed I would be exhausted because tomorrow is one of the days skipping my 5:30 AM alarm and doing my 15-minute jog isn't an option because I go straight into my morning prayer call at 5:55 AM.
That doesn't explain why your office wasn't clean at 9:30 PM. Tell Me about this mess.
I didn't get home from dropping mom off after Bible study Tuesday night until after 10:00 PM so I just dropped the mail and all my bags on the office floor, chair, and desk. The sign-up sheet and money is on my desk along with the pens, highlighter, and a few papers from the last time I sat at my desk to work on paperwork. And my exercise mat is on the floor from my morning exercises yesterday.
How long would it take you to pick it all up?
Literally 5 minutes or less because everything has a place where it belongs. I just need to put it away.
You're tempted to stand up right now and clean it up. It's distracting you.
Why did you not take 5 minutes to pick it up when it was almost 9:30 last night and you went to bed?
I figured I'd just tidy it really quick when I got up.
So you were gonna have Me sit and watch you clean while I waited for My time with you?
How often do you invite people over and then they have to sit and wait for you to finish tidying everything up when they get there rather than giving you a hug and immediately sitting down with you, looking you in the eyes, and beginning the visit?
Always.
How long has that been the case?
Always.
I thought we were doing things differently?
I want to.
Tell Me about yesterday at work and what your conversation was with your client.
- HOUR-LONG PRIVATE CONVERSATION ABOUT POOR WORK HABITS, POOR TIME MANAGEMENT, & MISPLACED PRIORITIES -
So, excluding Sundays, which should be set aside for time with your family and for rest, you have less than one hour a day on average to brush your teeth, take showers, go to the bathroom, clean your house, sit with your family, feed your animals, scoop the cat litter, handle billing your clients, tracking your receipts, running errands, writing, journaling, working on ministry-related tasks, eating, or breathing?
Sitting and breathing. Do you ever just sit and breathe?
Reading. Do you ever just sit and read?
Watching a movie. Do you ever just sit and watch a movie?
Do you still take the time to plate your food and sit to delight in food when you eat it?
You're awful quiet this morning. Are you tired?
Yes.
Go to bed but leave this letter open. We aren't done yet.
- 5:30 ALARM: HIT SNOOZE -
No. Snooze. Talk to Me.
No, no, no. I said, "No snooze. Talk to Me." Punctuation matters.
Sit down. Your 1/96 can wait.
Tell Me about your dream.
It was so weird.
Tell Me about it and there's a part you don't want to say. Tell Me the whole dream as you remember it.
I'm not sure where I was. It was like a mall, but it was also like a hotel somehow? I had a stand set up in the mall area with my laptop, cell phone and watch somehow doing everything that I needed to do to share the message with the people who were walking by. People were very interested but whatever I was sharing with them was not super long. It's like every so often I was talking to a new pretty large group of people.
I thought, I need to run back to my room really quick, but I felt bad that there was a new group of people waiting for me to present whatever it was I was going to present to them, so I turned on whatever it was and told them I'd be right back.
Someone needed something (maybe to use the restroom but I'm not clear). I couldn't see who it was or what they looked like and that didn't matter to me. They needed something I could provide so I invited them in. I told them they were welcome to use the restroom and then just lock the door on their way out because I needed to get back out there before whatever was playing was over.
I ran back out and at my little stand, everyone was gone. Someone had stolen my watch, my phone, and my computer. I felt sick. I looked to my left and to my right and there was no one. I thought, There were so many people out here. Surely someone would have stopped whoever stole my stuff, or even if they couldn't stop the person, they would have stayed around to give me a description of who stole it.
There was no one.
Feeling absolutely sick about it, I went back into my room to call for help from that phone. The room didn't look like a hotel inside. It had been full of what I knew to be my belongings, so it felt more like a house or an apartment, but it was in a big building like a hotel/mall. It was full of all my stuff, and it wasn't so far from wherever I was showing whatever I was showing on my computer that I couldn't run in while leaving them to watch.
Anyways, when I got in my room, everything was gone. My cat, the gray one, was freaked out. He jumped up into my arms and I held him close, quite confused and overwhelmed. I knew everything that was on that stand was stolen because I irresponsibly left it with a bunch of strangers to go get something inside and now I had the sinking feeling that everything in my room was missing because I had left a stranger who needed (something) in my home alone.
I was horrified and thought, How am I going to tell my husband? I don't even have a way to call him.
One of my girls walked in and asked, "Mom, where's all our stuff?"
I said, "Quick, run and find someone to help."
When they left, a somewhat looking homeless older man came out of the bathroom and I desperately asked him, "Where's my stuff? What did you do with my stuff?" He didn't answer me. He was SUPER calm and didn't act at all bothered by my nervous energy.
I got louder and more insistent, "Where's everything? What did you do with it? It had to have been you? Someone outside stole my computer, my phone and my watch and I know why that happened. I left it unmonitored. I didn't even ask anyone if they would keep an eye on it for me. But you are the only one I let in this room."
He started talking to me normally about things that had nothing to do with what I was talking about and getting ready to go. Knowing he had to know where my stuff was, I started talking really nice to him like we were friends, then and this is the part you told me I wouldn't want to say, for whatever reason, I was luring him into the bedroom and making sexual advances like somehow if I could just get him interested enough to stay then when the girls got back with help, I could make it look like he was assaulting me and the police could help me sort it all out.
When people got there, he calmly got out of the bed, calmly put on his shoes, coat, and backpack and headed for the door. I anxiously grabbed his backpack and asked, "Where is MY backpack? Do you know where MY backpack is?”
As we approached the door with my family sitting back and watching, he turned to me and quietly said, "Jesus sent me."
I turned to my family and said, "Don't follow me. I'm going to get our stuff back!"
I followed the man out into the mall and asked him, "Will you PLEASE sit down and talk to me? PLEASE tell me what you know..."
I woke up looking for a place for us to sit.
Did you find a seat?
Yes, right here with You.
What do you think it means?
I'm running so quickly between home and ministry that if I'm not careful, at some point I will lose it all.
Very good.
When your prayer call ends, tidy your office, sit down with your paper, and look at your schedule. You will miss the meeting at the chamber this morning and life will go on.
REALLY look at your commitments.
REALLY look at how your time is spent and THINK HARD about what is most important. THINK HARD about WHO is most important.
When you THINK HARD, BYPASS your natural mind. THINK with your SPIRIT.
We won't be continuing this conversation today. That doesn't mean the conversation will not be continuing.
You need time to think before we speak.
Don't "pray" about this. Meditate WITH Me about it.
Spend time in the MIND OF CHRIST within you. You have ALL the answers. I'm not withholding ANY wisdom from you. It's ALL in you. I'm in you.
Leave your headphones home when you go to work today. Meditate WITH Me all day about your schedule. Take that note with you. Keep that paper and a pen in your back pocket instead of your phone while you work and edit your thoughts as the day moves along.
By the time you go to bed tonight, you will have clarity and a vision for how to move forward in a life that honors Me AND your home and family.
LOVE you, Little One.
Daddy
Ephesians 5:15-16