Learned Helplessness
Baby Girl,
What did you go to bed asking me to show you?
I can't remember.
When Kolton was over, he acted like he didn't know how to tie his shoes, then he asked if you would tie his shoes. What did you do?
I asked him if he knew how to tie his shoelaces. He said he didn't. That was not true. I remember at church high fiving him for tying his shoelaces, so I called him out on it. “Kolton, that's not true, is it. I've seen you tie your shoelaces.” He said, "I just want you to do it." I said, "If you would have said you know how to tie your shoelaces, but you just want my help, that would be different. I don't mind helping you do something you know how to do, but since you didn't tell the truth and said you don't know how, I'm going to wait and you're going to tie your own shoelaces.”
A term just came to mind... what is it?
Learned helplessness.
Look that up.
Learned helplessness = a condition in which a person has a sense of powerlessness, arising from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed. It is thought to be one of the underlying causes of depression.
Little One, you were essentially asking Me to tie your shoelaces for you. You can't remember what you asked Me to do because it was unnecessary assistance you were asking for. I gave you that first letter in August of 2022. When did you get the next one?
The first one I sent my ministry partner was in November 2023. It's been 16 months... I accidentally looked up "letters" instead of "baby girl" in my sent folder and I found one that I didn't label in the subject area as "baby girl" but instructions from God. Should I publish that one?
I will leave that up to you. They have all been of value to you. Would that letter provide value to anyone else?
There are some instructions in there that I believe express your heart for more than just me, but there are also parts that are specific instructions for what You want me personally to do within this ministry that I don't believe are universal instructions for other ministers.
Prayerfully share the parts of that letter which you believe are universally beneficial.
How many letters have there been in those 16 months?
109, with three You have specifically told me not to publish, the one I need to condense, and the two where you started with “Little One.”
How many days on average have there been between hearing from Me?
Well, if those 16 months averaged 30 days, that would be 480 divided by the 109 letters… would be 4.4 days between hearing from You.
Wrong answer.
You hear from Me every single day. All day. Every. Single. Day.
I'm always leading.
I'm always guiding.
I'm always instructing.
I'm always comforting.
I'm always correcting.
I'm CONSTANTLY RE-directing.
I speak directly to you. I speak through your Christian brothers and sisters, including your family. I speak to you through the words of Scripture. I speak to you through nature. I speak to you through gentle pauses in your day. I am ALWAYS speaking to you. You have never gone a day between hearing from Me.
These letters have been breadcrumbs.
Your eyes immediately began to burn and water. Why?
You said I won't always have breadcrumbs. Breadcrumbs are just training. You asked where my faith would be without breadcrumbs. I just got really sad thinking about You keeping breadcrumbs from me and going back to how things used to be.
How did things used to be?
I guessed. I constantly guessed what You wanted. I was constantly wrong. I put my foot in my mouth daily. I spent a LOT of emotional energy trying to clean up messes with people because I spoke or acted without thinking. With these letters, You're catching me really quickly, stopping me in my tracks and keeping me from making big messes like I used to.
Training, Little One. If you never got another letter, if we never communicated in this manner again, you KNOW what you need to do. You are wanting Me to tie your shoelaces but you don't need Me to tie your shoelaces.
Those tears are getting bigger. You act as though you think I'm going to leave you. What verse just came to mind?
Hebrews 13:5 came up when I googled it but that wasn't what I was thinking of. I was thinking about the one in the Old Testament.
That's the one I was thinking of: “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”
If this was the last letter you ever received, would you be content?
I don't think this is the last letter I will ever receive. This is the way we talk now and I LOVE it! I can't imagine You not talking to me this way.
This exchange has become very clear to you. You are VERY aware of these moments but so aware of THESE moments that you said we go 4 days between talking. You are forming a learned helplessness on these very specific instructions. You used to run to people for these answers and that never did what you needed it to do. It never settled those unsettled parts of you.
I want you to LIVE in the rhythm of breathing in and breathing out and the understanding that it is in the breathing in and the breathing out that you are hearing My voice.
Your alarm went off 15 minutes ago. Back to bed.
If this is my last letter, I don't ever want to go to bed again. I just want to sit here with You.
Learned helplessness, Little One. I'm not going anywhere. Just because you're tying your own shoes doesn't mean I'm not standing there watching. Back to bed.
Okay. Good night.
Dry those tears. Goodnight, Little One.
LOVE,
Daddy
John 5:5-8