Don’t Assign Meaning
Baby Girl,
What happened tonight?
I was riding bikes with my husband and had an accident breaking my left pinkie and my right foot, severely bruising my tailbone and spraining my right hand. I’m admitted to the hospital awaiting surgery on my foot.
I’ve been saying all night it could have been so much worse! I didn’t hit my head. My neck and back are okay. The runner I hit could have been knocked to the ground and busted his head open. Any number of worse things could have happened. This isn’t great but it could be much worse.
What is your biggest concern?
My husband was already worrying about money BEFORE this… now we will have our deductible plus 10% of this hospital bill AND I cannot be weight bearing for a minimum of 5-6 weeks. I do hard physical labor for work. Now both hands and my right foot are injured…mhow long will it be until I can work again?
And it’s my right foot, my driving foot… how long till I can drive? For now, I don’t even think my hands would be strong enough to open the cat and dog food to feed them. I got a shower a little bit ago and I had to use both hands to squeeze soap out of the little bottle and it hurt to do that.
I’m going to be pretty useless for a while.
According to who?
…
Okay, different question: when you found out you would be having surgery and would be non-weight bearing for so long, what was your first thought?
How can I make money? What kind of job could I get? Maybe I could do customer service on the phones? I was concerned how my hands would hold up. I’m sure I can type. I’m using my hands to type this into my phone but without the ability to use all of my fingers, I’d type much slower than I normally do and for the interview, I have someone drive me, then scoot in on a knee walker? I can’t really use crutches with two injured hands.
My friend said, “How about you have your surgery tomorrow and think about healing?” All I can think about is how much this will stress my husband out without me working.
A while back, you brought your husband’s concerns about money to Me. What did I tell you?
“You will be more than fine financially.” I know that…
Then why was your immediate first reaction to consider where you could work?
Because…
Oh, I’m not walking in faith about that, am I? I suppose I worry that if I just accept that not only can I not do much of anything around our house for a while, I can’t even work, it would make my husband think that I don’t care how much this will be affecting us financially.
Will it?
Hospital bills, lost wages…
What did I say?
“You will be more than fine financially.”
What did I tell you about Zander?
“Don’t assign spiritual meaning to ANYTHING I have not directly given you light on. Stop assuming My motives and giving credit to My hand in the face of difficulties. It makes you “feel” better in your soul but, over time, those wrong thoughts will give you a false theology and, over time, you will person by person spread that false theology to people who will in turn spread that false theology to others.
Learn the art of saying “I don’t know,” or simply say nothing at all.
So why did Zander die if I was wrong?
Can you trust Me even through a lifetime where I never answer that question?
I can.
Then do that.
I get it - don’t try to assign meaning to why this happened.
Right, but it’s more than that.
Don’t attempt to assign meaning.
Don’t spiritualize it.
Don’t complain about it.
I’m not complaining.
Worry is a form of complaining, Little One.
I’m not worrying.
Then why are you lying in bed considering places you could get hired to work from home?
…
Don’t think about it.
Don’t think about it? Kinda hard not to think about it.
Don’t.
Don’t talk about it.
Don’t talk about it to who?
When I asked you to tell Me what happened tonight, count how many paragraphs you wrote.
Eleven.
Erase those first eleven paragraphs and tell Me in two sentences.
…
That’s better. Now listen.
Listen to what?
Just listen. The way you walked around your city, just listen. As you heal, listen and rest.
Don’t speak anxiety over this situation.
Don’t problem-solve.
Rest.
What about my clients?
They will figure it out.
What about…
Hush. Look what time it is.
6:00AM. It’s time for my prayer call.
Yes. Remember what I said?
I won’t talk about it. I will trust You.
LOVE you, Little One.
Daddy
2 Corinthians 4:16-18